Nearly 5 years ago, my husband’s precious maternal grandmother passed away. This special woman had an amazing sense of humor and a flair for life. Without saying a word, she could make me laugh with just a look. Several years before her death, she visited a local funeral home in order to plan her funeral services. When she passed away, the family didn’t have to deal with the stress of organizing her farewell services. They could relax, grieve, and concentrate on the wonderful memories they shared with her. I've grown to appreciate this. On this blog, you will discover the steps required to plan your own funeral.
Many people take for granted that sending flowers to the bereaved family at a funeral is the right thing to do. While it is a kind gesture that is often met with sincere gratitude, it isn't the best choice for every scenario. Consider these do's and don'ts when you are trying to determine whether you should send floral arrangements to a funeral:
Don't Assume That It's Ever Too Late to Send or Bring Flowers
Although you may not find out about a funeral until the day it's taking place, you don't have to worry that it's too late to send flowers. Yes, many people arrange the floral arrangements to be sent to the funeral home in advance of the funeral, but it's totally acceptable for you to carry a floral arrangement directly to the funeral yourself.
If you learn that the person died until well after the funeral, you can still send sympathy flowers to the person's home. While it won't be flowers for the funeral, the kind gesture can mean a lot to a loved one who is still in mourning.
Do Check the Obituary or Death Announcement
It is now a common practice for mourners to request a donation to a charity or a fund for survivors instead of flowers. If the family would prefer a donation, it will usually be clearly stated near the end of the obituary or death announcement of the deceased person.
Take the time to read the death notice or obituary carefully. Look for specifically stated preferences of the family in the article. If none are stated, you may want to check with someone close to the mourners prior to buying and sending flowers to the funeral. Although the bereaved will likely still be gracious about accepting flowers, it's best to honor what they truly want.
Don't Ignore the Person's Religion or Family Tradition
It's important to not assume that every family will welcome flowers at a funeral. For example, you should ask before sending flowers to a Hindu or Buddhist memorial service. Also, it's generally best not to order a floral delivery for a Jewish funeral or the shiva home (where the family is sitting shiva in mourning after the funeral).
Some people in those and other religions feel that interrupting the life cycle of flowers for a funeral floral arrangement isn't a good idea. Charitable donations would be a good alternative, and you can send a sympathy card that details the donation that was made and why you made it in honor of the lost loved one.
Finally, keep in mind that each situation is unique. Some people may welcome flowers even though they are not traditional in their family or religious tradition, but that would be the exception.
If in doubt, contact the mourners directly. Express your desire to be there for them and send a sympathy gift, then really listen to their response and what they need. Take your cue from the response of the bereaved family and decide whether sending flowers may help them at this difficult time.
Contact a company like Maurer Funeral Home Inc for more information and assistance.